Comic Surgeon Gifts

Surgeons' Changing Room / Surgeons on manslaughter charge.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

Quick! 5-second rule!

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"Did you get some work done?"

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'It's a routine operation.'

Surgeon using hover mower