Comic Doctor Enthusiast Gifts

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Atomic Bear: Part 22

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Bingo's Time Out - Part Three

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

Atomic Bear: Part 14

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

Fearless Frog Part 12