Medical Comic Fan Gifts

'What does it me when you have no symptoms at all?'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

Take these three times a day until I feel better.

'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

'Second opinion? Come back tomorrow, I will probably have changed my mind by then...'

Lazy Doctor

"Let's run a few tests and see where we are."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"