Medical Cartoon Fan Gifts

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

Horses and men? You call that a healthcare system?

A hospital chart is being dragged off down a mouse hole.

"I don't mind the wheezing. It drowns out the sound of my boss' voice."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"All my symptoms are old ... "

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'I think you'll get a kick out of our 'haunted' MRI, Mrs. Hanratty.'

'Snap out of it.'