
"Okay, Mr. Collins, let's see how that old heart of yours is doing."
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"Okay, Mr. Collins, let's see how that old heart of yours is doing."
'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'
MRI scanner.
"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."
'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'
"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."
'Level with me, Doc...I can take it...How long have I got until my insurance runs out?'
'If you're worried about taking so many tablets I could prescribe you some valium...'
'You're overdue for your checkup.'
"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."
'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'
An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'
To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.
Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.
"Just give me the truth, Doc...I can tell when you're trying to humor me."
'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'
Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling
Elephant walking out of urologist office carrying 2 peanuts in jar.
"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."
Doctor consulting a textbook.
'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'
'Angiogram.'
"Good news! It's only cancer."
'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'
"According to your EKG, you are not a good hearted person."
'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'
'This may sting a bit.'
Drunken Dis-orderly
"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"
Horses and men? You call that a healthcare system?
'Your HMO won't cover injuries stemming form office politics.'
I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.
"Wake up, RIP. The doctor will see you now."
"Doctor, I've got double vision...!"
A hospital chart is being dragged off down a mouse hole.
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