Medical Comics Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Quick! 5-second rule!

Orthopaedist

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

Lazy Doctor

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"Good news! It's only cancer."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

'For Valentine's Day!'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"According to your EKG, you are not a good hearted person."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Now where was I?"