Comic Doctor Gifts

Tipping Permitted.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

Lazy Doctor

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

'And now, this warning from the Surgeon-General... THINK FAST!'

"It's cooties."

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

'Spin GP'

"Your intestinal flora looks good."

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

"Doctor, I've got double vision...!"

'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'

'Second opinion? Come back tomorrow, I will probably have changed my mind by then...'

"I checked in with a broken hip. The food poisoning came later."