Comic Doctor Pillows

Tipping Permitted.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

Lazy Doctor

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

'And now, this warning from the Surgeon-General... THINK FAST!'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"It's cooties."

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'Spin GP'

"Your intestinal flora looks good."

"Doctor, I've got double vision...!"

'Second opinion? Come back tomorrow, I will probably have changed my mind by then...'

"I checked in with a broken hip. The food poisoning came later."

'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'

'Let me explain what i mean about a 'Stool Sample' Mr.Hattnel.'