Comic Doctor Enthusiast Pillows

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."