Novel Surgeon Gifts

Book surgery.

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

Culinary surgery.

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

On board the MS Hepatology

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

Medical Arts Building

Playing Doctors.

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Why would anyone hire a barrister, anyone can talk...I'm taking on my own case just as soon as I finish this triple by-pass."

Dang! They're always out of 'handsome and brilliant neurosurgeon!'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

'It's a routine operation.'

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

'What wine goes with the Hippocratic Oath- my nephew graduated from medical school.'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'Okaaay... Now, the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone...'

Patient Escaping from the Operating Theatre.

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Mind if I cut in?'

'I have no idea what that thing is either...'

'I told you he wouldn't waste any time starting his practice.'

'For goodness sake, Harry. All the child wants to do is take out your appendix.'

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'