Storyline Surgeon Gifts

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

Someone who knows apostrophes

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

Playing Doctors.

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"I translate books from English into better English."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

"Why would anyone hire a barrister, anyone can talk...I'm taking on my own case just as soon as I finish this triple by-pass."

Dang! They're always out of 'handsome and brilliant neurosurgeon!'

'It's a routine operation.'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

'He's always talking about all of his operations.'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'Okaaay... Now, the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone...'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

Surgery.

'He tries to stay happy in his work.'

'How did the operation go last night?'

'Nurse Nodnik will be live blogging the operation.'

Operating Room Table Scraps

Book surgery.

'For goodness sake, Harry. All the child wants to do is take out your appendix.'

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

'Once I dreamt of being a famous surgeon. Woke up covered in blood.'

"For goodness sake, lick the thread!"

Performance.