Surgery Storyteller Gifts

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'Yup, that was one ingrown toenail!'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"It was a botched surgery."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

Anatomy.

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Anatomy.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Hospital Cleaning.

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

"Did you get some work done?"

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

He really puts his heart into it!

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."