Medical Storyteller Gifts

"You don't look like the sort of person to get diabetes..."

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

Have I told you about my operation?

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

The Origins of Everything

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

Isaac Newton and the Apple Tree

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

The Great Chemical Novel.

'Be careful, Doctor Trefz, she doesn't like men!'

'I'm sick of writing grant proposals on spec.'

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

'Isaac Newton, pursuing his study of the laws of motion,, discovers that a thrown ball can curve..."

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

'Nurse Nodnik will be live blogging the operation.'