Medical Storyteller Gifts

"You don't look like the sort of person to get diabetes..."

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

Have I told you about my operation?

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Is it that bad?"

The Origins of Everything

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

Isaac Newton and the Apple Tree

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Sciense. How can biodiversity be decreasing with so many species of Pokemon out there?

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

The Great Chemical Novel.

'Be careful, Doctor Trefz, she doesn't like men!'

'I'm sick of writing grant proposals on spec.'

'Isaac Newton, pursuing his study of the laws of motion,, discovers that a thrown ball can curve..."

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

"Yes, the treatment is very effective, especially for those who can afford it."

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

M.D. We don't just tell you to starve a cold these days --- We can prescribe an appetite suppressant for it!

'Oh, Ran-dee! Wakey-wakeys! You're doing a triple bypass on Mrs. Pacala at 8:30. Re-mem-ber? Out of bed, Mr. Lazy Bones!'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'