Clinical Storyteller Gifts

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

What's an Imax cave?

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Direct Marketing...

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Marilyn's Rushmore

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Now Playing at the Europlex

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Quentin Tarantino

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

A boy with a camera

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

David Hockney

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Christopher Nolan caricature

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"