Creative Storyteller Gifts

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Write a Screenplay

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

The Invention Of Marketing

Fish and Rat envy each other's lifestyle.

"Action! And this time believe!"

"Finding work as an actor isn't easy. Once, I was so desperate, I staged my own death ??" and still lost the part."

"Now what?"

'You have away with words.'

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

"People, we're writing a reality show. Use some imagination!"

"Lenny's right. Calling it 'an opportunity to reach a new generation of listeners' has a better ring to it than 'total sellout'."

'Joe didn't like to hunt so he paid the animals to pose for his hunting club parties.'

Boy has radio controlled model of Noah's Ark. Small animals are entering two by two.

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Taking a 'bold and imaginative' approach means more than writing on novel every word begins with the letter 'A'.

Man writing to excuse himself from work so he can go to the derby

"Constructive criticism? It says I can't write my way out of a paper bag, and you call it constructive criticism."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

'What's the unexpected ending?' - 'The fact that it's not been written.'

Barbarina looks for pin

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"Your assignment is to analyze any one day in history and explain how you would adapt it to a cable TV miniseries."

'Of course, there'll only ever be a market for seven original stories.'

'I never said that. You always exaggerate.'

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

Participants in the Poetry Writing Workshop imagine that they are imaginary persons in a situation of their own imagination.

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

Noah's Art

Pinocchio's pinewood derby car won by a nose.

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."