Imaginative Storyteller Gifts

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters...'

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters, blind mice with carving knives... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Why do I always have to play the pirates?"

"He confessed. Didn't even try to make up an excuse or blame someone else. I was far more creative at his age."

'I don't care if he followed you home-we're not keeping him!'

The Spreaders

'Mom forgot to do the laundry last night, so I made clothes out of Legos.'

The wrong approach to getting a child to take medicine.

The Poet's Happy Christmas

"We're migrant coffee table dwellers, and we adore the unassuming simplicity of your lounge."

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

There was that voice again: come out and play, Jimmy.

"Great news. I'm expecting a doll."

"Sorry, but you can't be friends with a page! Pages become squires, then knights: our mortal enemies!"

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

'I'm warning you, buster -- I'm wearing Wonder Woman underwear!'

Young Boy Imagines Jesus was a Zombie.

You have one great novel in you.

'Who needs a measuring tape when you've got an imagination?'

'Sir, a super massive black hole ate my homework.'

'I'm sorry, but I can't let you on board unless there's a Mrs Bigfoot.'

'It's a fantasy come true and all that, but the sex is...difficult.'

Santa's Helpers

"These are payments for babysitters, but it's more exciting to pretend I'm a drug dealer."

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"He really captures what it's like to be a choo-choo train."

"Mr. Swinehart has just crossed Route 36 at Goshen Junction. We are all expected, in exactly eighteen minutes, to greet him as he comes down the driveway."

"I love you kid, I really do, you're such a funny guy. When it comes to playing together, dude I can not lie. . . While it might seem to you, we both are havinga blast, to be entirely straight and true, I got bored real fast. Now let me read my book and I'll love you even more. I'll be there when you need me, 'cause that's what moms are for."

Swan Fairy Tales

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'Just thirty-five years until I can run for office!'

"Old Jack Frost nipping at your nose, eh?"

Santa's Nightmares