Clinical Storyteller T-Shirts

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Direct Marketing...

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Now Playing at the Europlex

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

A boy with a camera

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."