Surgery Storyteller Pillows

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'Yup, that was one ingrown toenail!'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"It was a botched surgery."

"What should we do with this extra part?"

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

Anatomy.

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Anatomy.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

He really puts his heart into it!

"Did you get some work done?"

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

Hospital Cleaning.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."