Novel Surgeon Pillows

Book surgery.

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Culinary surgery.

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

On board the MS Hepatology

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

Playing Doctors.

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

Medical Arts Building

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Why would anyone hire a barrister, anyone can talk...I'm taking on my own case just as soon as I finish this triple by-pass."

Dang! They're always out of 'handsome and brilliant neurosurgeon!'

'It's a routine operation.'

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'What wine goes with the Hippocratic Oath- my nephew graduated from medical school.'

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

Patient Escaping from the Operating Theatre.

'Okaaay... Now, the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone...'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Mind if I cut in?'

'I told you he wouldn't waste any time starting his practice.'

'For goodness sake, Harry. All the child wants to do is take out your appendix.'

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

'Once I dreamt of being a famous surgeon. Woke up covered in blood.'