Amateur Surgeon Gifts

Surgeon using a sewing kit.

Self help acupuncture

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

Anatomy.

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

Playing Doctors.

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

He really puts his heart into it!

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"Firstly, have you ever had an appendix out before?"

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'He really put his heart into it.'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"