Amateur Surgeon Gifts

Surgeon using a sewing kit.

Self help acupuncture

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

Anatomy.

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

He really puts his heart into it!

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

"Firstly, have you ever had an appendix out before?"

Playing Doctors.

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'Thanks for allowing these high school students to watch your surgery. Check it out on YouTube!'

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"