Surgical Enthusiast Gifts

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"Now with a firm twist, I'll remove his attorney."

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Just talk me through it step by step, nurse. I'm new to surgery."

'Drop it. You're a watch dog. You're just here to watch.'

'Of course I'm nervous. I'm double parked.'

'Gentlemen, ladies, we've just successfully removed that tiny snippet of brain that makes people want to be in politics.'

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."

"What do you think about the approach on this one? A Miller #3 blade or a Marley #4?"

"Take note, Clammerhorn. The yellow tank is helium."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Little doctor.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Parts Department

Doctors

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Medical Examinations.

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'You do Botox?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

Body Building

'Urology...can you hold?'

Doctor testing patient reflexes with unusual results.

Cardiology, Neurology and Ophthalmology.

'Howard, I wish you'd stop bring your work home with you.'