Surgery Enthusiasts Gifts

"On reflection, I admit the hernia stitches were too tight."

Surgical Keepsakes of the Anderson Family: Family have kept their milk teeth, kidneys stones, etc, in display jars. The family dog has his testicles in a jar.

"This coconut represents your head."

'Boy, am I getting hungry!'

I don't think you can call a Mulligan in the middle of surgery.

We specialize in great implants. Live hard, die young, and leave some beautiful mammaries.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Body Building

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

Anatomy.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

He really puts his heart into it!

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Cosmetic pouches.

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'