Medical Amateurs Gifts

Hypochondriac.

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Little doctor.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

London GPs could become an endangered species.

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Parts Department

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

Doctors

Medical Examinations.

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

Pediatrics: Anatomy

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'Urology...can you hold?'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Doctor testing patient reflexes with unusual results.

Cardiology, Neurology and Ophthalmology.

"I can't find the instructions."

Too much Inflammation

"It appears you have a virus."

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."