Medicine Enthusiast Gifts

'This 32 year-old male was admitted last night with fever, chills, nausea, sweating and severe abdominal pain.'

"Considering the obvious lies in your information form and my tendency to misdiagnose, we should get along just fine."

'Which one do I get in?'

'We don't use herbs, just drugs with proven side effects.'

'I've never lost a patient yet. This is my first operation.'

"Can't we all just get along?"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'I always wanted to go into medicine, but I was never much of a dancer.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."

"I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up."

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

'This one controls postoperative pain and this one controls the pain you feel when I tell you how much it costs.'

Medicine before the invention of Aspirin.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

'No, taking an ACE inhibitor won't hurt your poker game.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Antacids, antibacterials, antibiotic, antidepressants, antispasmodics...we'd like something positive for a change."

Medical Team

'Of course it tastes bad! If it tasted good, you'd think it was ineffective.'

'Oh, Ed's in a VERY contrary mood today. I'm buying probiotics, so he's over there buying antibiotics.'

'Remember, one if by land, two if by sea.'

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

"You're not making this easier for any of us."

"Before I prescribe something I need to know your symptoms, not what side effects you want."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

'Let's see now. My left is your right and your left is my right.'

'Try this blue stuff - I've found that blue stuff works good on colds.'

'A pill that cures everything! Surely you don't expect me to swallow that?'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"No, it's not the safety cap that's stuck!

"It doesn't come with any cap at all. You're to take one every two minutes."

Medicines Orders