Medicine Enthusiast Pillows

'This 32 year-old male was admitted last night with fever, chills, nausea, sweating and severe abdominal pain.'

"Considering the obvious lies in your information form and my tendency to misdiagnose, we should get along just fine."

'Which one do I get in?'

'We don't use herbs, just drugs with proven side effects.'

'I've never lost a patient yet. This is my first operation.'

"Can't we all just get along?"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'I always wanted to go into medicine, but I was never much of a dancer.'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

Medicine before the invention of Aspirin.

'This one controls postoperative pain and this one controls the pain you feel when I tell you how much it costs.'

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."

"Antacids, antibacterials, antibiotic, antidepressants, antispasmodics...we'd like something positive for a change."

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'Remember, one if by land, two if by sea.'

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

'Oh, Ed's in a VERY contrary mood today. I'm buying probiotics, so he's over there buying antibiotics.'

'No, taking an ACE inhibitor won't hurt your poker game.'

'Of course it tastes bad! If it tasted good, you'd think it was ineffective.'

Medical Team

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

"By the time you get that childproof cap off, my headache will be gone."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"Before I prescribe something I need to know your symptoms, not what side effects you want."

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

"You're not making this easier for any of us."

'Let's see now. My left is your right and your left is my right.'

'Try this blue stuff - I've found that blue stuff works good on colds.'

'A pill that cures everything! Surely you don't expect me to swallow that?'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.