Medical Aficionado Gifts

'Would it kill you to ask me how I'm doing?'

'...and what's really interesting is that there's still 99.9% of the human brain we still know nothing about.'

'I never make the same mistake twice!'

Brain Wave Research Lab. No, Ernie, it doesn't mean that your brain has little, moving hands.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Hypochondriac Convention

"Sounds like my Swiss watch. A piece of junk I bought in a back alley for twenty bucks."

Comedy and Tragedy at the Hospital

"We're hoping for an uptick."

'I'd like to go in for an exploratory look at your finances.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Family doctor.

Pediatrics: Anatomy

"The bad side effects are your medical plan doesn't cover the cost of this medication."

"Oxygen is a poison. And it takes about 90 years to kill us."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Be Healthy

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Little doctor.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

'Fitness guru.'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'