Ship Surgeon Gifts

On board the MS Hepatology

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

Body Building

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

Surgeon to other: 'First organ transplant?'

"First of all, where and what is a prostrate?"

'Remember the NHS ethos; if it ain't broke, break it. Then make sure it can't be mended.'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

"These aren't barnacles. Someone stuck their gum down here."

The shakedown escalates.

"Don't worry about a thing, I learned to do this in prison."

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.

"I just ate my organ donor card."

"Sigh! No boating today." "For? Damn!" "Okay, prep her. Oh, and cancel my tee time." "How elective surgery really works."

'We've got a cloudburst here...it's raining stats and logs!'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'

"We lose a little dexterity, but we gain a lot of confidence."

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"I suppose you're the brains behind the operation"

"I sympathize. It's weird for me too."

When Surgeons Work At Home

"O.K.—I've got the tongue."

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

A Chef Never Rests

Pirate Doctor