Ship Repair Specialist Gifts

"These aren't barnacles. Someone stuck their gum down here."

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

'Yes, the fish are biting.'

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"International trade"

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

On board the MS Hepatology

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

Boating Supplies. The spinnaker has a tear in it. Don't send it out to a customer. Too late, that ship has sailed.

"What is this telling us? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

'You need a new bobbin.'

'Odd as it may seem, it needs oil.'

"Mr. Estes is unavailable. He's still pending."

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

Pirate Doctor

"So far we've narrowed the choice of names down to either Fearnaught or HMS Arsekicker."

For the last time, I know the basement is wet….

"Did you repair the hole in the ... never mind."

'I'll have to consult with a tree surgeon on this, Cap'n.'

Oar-topsies.

'Hello, Biggo Sports Supply? About that do-it-yourself boat repair kit I ordered...'

'Well, now, what would it cost me without parts and labor?'

"I think the flush is broken."

"I'm sorry it failed on your inter-gala warp factor three star gate interchange unit"

Gas prices.

Technical Problems

'Come out - you drunken old rat!'

"Oh, somebody might still want to buy it. I'll put it online as a listing."

'I was the Ships Doctor, Miss - Have you had an examination lately?'

Man having trousers mended

"Frankly lad, I think even able seaman of industry might be aiming a little high,here at Gussetts."