Grocery Store Aficionado Gifts

Buyers remorse items.

Eight sins or less.

'He got as far as the door before I clobbered him with a salami.'

"It's like we're living in a banana republic, only without the bananas."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Witches Checkout.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

Mouse shopping after hours

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"Someone's gone to look for a price - they won't be long!"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

Woman has man in shopping trolley

Turns out it's just a shopping list. Milk.

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

Do me a favor - don

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

The Creature of the Black Legume

"I waited 2 hours to see my favorite telenovela star at the super-mercado...and he didn't show up!"

9 items or less at the gates of heaven

"Hold it, lady. You're not gonna use me on pizza, are you?"

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

Produce. Corn on the cob. Corn on the lam.