Grocery Aficionado Gifts

Your Dinner is in the Supermarket.

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Witches Checkout.

Online Shopping.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"How nice. A truffle."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Stilton's the king, Camembert and chèvre are landed gentry, and cheddars are the serfs, you know."

Champagne and Oysters

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

Add to Basket?

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'