Grocery Aficionados Gifts

Mouse shopping after hours

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Witches Checkout.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

"Stilton's the king, Camembert and chèvre are landed gentry, and cheddars are the serfs, you know."

"How nice. A truffle."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

"So nice to see things 'a la financiere' again."

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

Champagne and Oysters

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

'I really don't mind him taking the wine's temperature before serving it. I just wish he'd use an oral thermometer.'

"I'll have the homework special."