Grocery Aficionados T-Shirts

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

Mouse shopping after hours

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Witches Checkout.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

"Stilton's the king, Camembert and chèvre are landed gentry, and cheddars are the serfs, you know."

"How nice. A truffle."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"So nice to see things 'a la financiere' again."

Champagne and Oysters

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

'I really don't mind him taking the wine's temperature before serving it. I just wish he'd use an oral thermometer.'

Turns out it's just a shopping list. Milk.