Grocery Shopping Aficionado Gifts

'Ugh! I think it's past its sell-by date.'

Meats

"He threw a huge fit at the grocery store."

Supermarkets

'Now let's see...We need fodder...'

Adam and Eve

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

New potatoes

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Witches Checkout.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Online Shopping.

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

Friendly bacteria

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'

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