Grocery Shopping Enthusiasts Gifts

Market. Poppos. This is my kind of cereal box ... "To open, rip off box top and smash through the waxed paper".

"Silken tofu--so they've eliminated taste and texture?"

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

Pate Foie Gras - Locally forced.

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Important Food Groups

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Dad Trophies

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Everything's gone up."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Unusual Offers

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Witches Checkout.

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

'Diet considerations.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.