Grocery Shopping Aficionado Pillows

Meats

Supermarkets

'Now let's see...We need fodder...'

Adam and Eve

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

New potatoes

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Witches Checkout.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Online Shopping.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

Friendly bacteria

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

Mouse shopping after hours

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."