Supermarket Aficionado Gifts

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

God sees his doppelganger in the toiletries aisle.

Witches Checkout.

9 items or less at the gates of heaven

We promise to cut your shopping bill in half!'

"These new self-service tills will certainly cut our staff bills."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

Wall Street Couch

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Online Shopping.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

Early attempts at standardising currency.

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Complex Carbs

Eye of Newt Helper

Mouse shopping after hours

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

Add to Basket?

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.