Supermarket Aficionado Pillows

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

God sees his doppelganger in the toiletries aisle.

Witches Checkout.

9 items or less at the gates of heaven

We promise to cut your shopping bill in half!'

"These new self-service tills will certainly cut our staff bills."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

Wall Street Couch

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Online Shopping.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

Early attempts at standardising currency.

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Complex Carbs

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

Mouse shopping after hours

Eye of Newt Helper

Add to Basket?

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"