Grocery Store Antics Aficionado Gifts

"I'm bored. Want to block a grocery store aisle with our cart?"

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Witches Checkout.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

Mouse shopping after hours

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

Low income vampires.

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

Free Range / Deranged

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

On that fateful visit to the supermarket, it was Tongue's misstep that would lead to a fall, a lawsuit, and an eventual catch-phrase.

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

The Creature of the Black Legume

Do me a favor - don

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

Woman has man in shopping trolley

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

Produce. Corn on the cob. Corn on the lam.

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

"Hold it, lady. You're not gonna use me on pizza, are you?"

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

'Now let's see...We need fodder...'

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

9 items or less at the gates of heaven