Grocery Store Humor Lover Gifts

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'The stuff legends are made of'

Low income vampires.

Free Range / Deranged

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

Self Checkout

That was 16 items.

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

The 29p Shop

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

'This could be a new record!'

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

Organic Broccoli. . . Pimped Out Broccoli.

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

The Shopped Elsewhere: 'They take their loyalty card scheme very seriously at this supermarket.'

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

"Hey, wait - I think we're supposed to put stuff in a cart."

Greengrocer selling rotten fruit for a political rally.

Potted meats section.

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."