Grocery Humor Fan Gifts

'We're out of peanut butter.'

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'He's cured.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

'So this is a kitchen!'

Shop signs.

Low income vampires.

Free Range / Deranged

Self Checkout

The Cheese God

That was 16 items.

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

'Spaghetti dinner. Hold the garlic bread.'