Grocery Humorists Gifts

'Mmm mmm mhh, what a bunch of lookers. Why back in the day...'

'Is this going to take long ?...I only came in for a loaf of bread.'

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

The mushroom pickers

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Low income vampires.

Free Range / Deranged

Holy Pizza

That was 16 items.

Self Checkout

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

Man eating a bad oyster

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

"That was the last of the O-negative."

'This could be a new record!'

'We're out of peanut butter.'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.