Grocery Store Comedians Gifts

The Shopped Elsewhere: 'They take their loyalty card scheme very seriously at this supermarket.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

'Yes?'

Low income vampires.

Free Range / Deranged

"We have a fund with a new, advanced financial strategy but it hasn't been tested on humans.''

That was 16 items.

Self Checkout

"There's a fly in my soup."

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

Animal Crackers. All the animals in this box are dinosaurs! Better check the expiration date!

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

'This could be a new record!'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

"My parents are extreme vegans. I'm not allowed to have a piggy bank."

Organic Broccoli. . . Pimped Out Broccoli.

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

"Hey, wait - I think we're supposed to put stuff in a cart."

'Are you over 18 stone?'

Greengrocer selling rotten fruit for a political rally.