Grocery Humor Lovers Gifts

'I think you'll find the dating agency NEXT door, madam!'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"I like my steak well done."

'The stuff legends are made of'

Low income vampires.

Free Range / Deranged

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

Self Checkout

That was 16 items.

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'We're out of peanut butter.'

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.

'This could be a new record!'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

Organic Broccoli. . . Pimped Out Broccoli.

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

'One case of body wash. Will there be anything else?

Tank vs. Can opener.

Potted meats section.

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

"Hey, wait - I think we're supposed to put stuff in a cart."

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."