Grocery Shopping Humor Gifts

Self Checkout

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'The stuff legends are made of'

"How much is the sign?"

Eye of Newt Helper

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Low income vampires.

Free Range / Deranged

That was 16 items.

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

'This could be a new record!'

Animal Crackers. All the animals in this box are dinosaurs! Better check the expiration date!

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

Organic Broccoli. . . Pimped Out Broccoli.

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

'Are you over 18 stone?'

Potted meats section.

I don't get it - they give us name tag stickers, but they never let us mingle

"Hey, wait - I think we're supposed to put stuff in a cart."

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."