Humorist Grocery Shopper Gifts

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'The stuff legends are made of'

Great moments in shopping

Low income vampires.

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Free Range / Deranged

Self Checkout

That was 16 items.

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

Fresh milk - Self service

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.

'This could be a new record!'

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

Organic Broccoli. . . Pimped Out Broccoli.

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

Market items.

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

"Hey, wait - I think we're supposed to put stuff in a cart."

no nonsense or ridiculous pantyhose.

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

'One case of body wash. Will there be anything else?