Golf Course Official Gifts

'I can't I've been clamped.'

'I hope you replace your divots.'

The Golfing Accident

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

Referee's Free Kick Pack

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

In case he wore pants that weren't gaudy enough for golf, Len kept some cans of spray paint in his bag.

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

"What have you done?"

More Fifa officials indicted over bribery scandal

Red Card on the Podium

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

'How come I get two yellow cards?' - 'One for the foul and one for the instant reply.'

FIFA scandal

Eye examination for World Cup officials.

The Disadvantage of Easier Golf Courses

'Knock if off, O'Reilly. You are herewith officially charged with bringing racing into disrepute.'

"Atlas! We require a small sample."

'I will need to watch the replay.'

Mole living in golf hole.

Upon review of the finish photo, race officials discovered cheating on the part of Turf King.

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

"Um...David, a word if we may."

Finishing Line

Runner lighting rocket on his back.

'Get Hawkeye to check this.'

'Kill the ref.'