Golf Course Guardian Gifts

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

The Golfing Accident

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

"12 isn't a bad score on the hole. You did stray and some of those windmills are quite tricky!"

"What have you done?"

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

Mole living in golf hole.

'... just one more ball. Please? Last one. I'll pay you back, I swear!'

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

Lollipop mask

'Drat, another hole-in-one. Pity really - I was looking forward to some putting practice.'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

Things get heated at the outing.

Golfers! Do not walk on this fairway! Crawl on your belly like a lizard.

'I told you to turn left - this is a bunker on the golf course!'

"I arranged a foursome like you asked. Allen, Jack, Gene and Howard are playing at three."

'Replace divots'

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'