Golf Course Guardian Gifts

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

The Golfing Accident

I'm not sure, but I like to think it's because I was always very careful to replace my divots.

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'He lived and died for golf.'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

"What have you done?"

"12 isn't a bad score on the hole. You did stray and some of those windmills are quite tricky!"

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

Methuselah shoots his age.

'... just one more ball. Please? Last one. I'll pay you back, I swear!'

Mole living in golf hole.

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

'Drat, another hole-in-one. Pity really - I was looking forward to some putting practice.'

Lollipop mask

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'I told you to turn left - this is a bunker on the golf course!'

'Todd Stevens is playing golf while his wife and kids are at home with 103 degree fevers!'

"I arranged a foursome like you asked. Allen, Jack, Gene and Howard are playing at three."