Golf Course Caretaker Gifts

Litter Picker on Golf Course.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

The Golfing Accident

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

"What have you done?"

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

"Just give me a minute, Mr. Vice-President, and I'll try to explain the difference between contributions to the Nature Conservancy and greens fees."

"Judging by your tan I can see you play golf too."

"This is my favorite photo of our autumn leaves."

Mole living in golf hole.

Classic Car Auction: "I think I'm having an out-of -money experience."

Golfers! Do not walk on this fairway! Crawl on your belly like a lizard.

Who Designed This Course?

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

"Just clean out the gutters, Tony, and point the chimney."

'Tell Dr. Swan his car is resting comfortably.'

"Otherwise it's just same ol', same ol'."

"Have you noticed dogs don't try to cover their business anymore, after they do it?"

"Oh, I'm not technically a greenskeeper: I'm the bunker specialist..."

Royalty playing golf

'Will you please just lower the drawbridge and cool it with the knock-knock jokes?'

'I can't I've been clamped.'

I trust you have planning permission! (Golfer in a bunker).