Golf Course Caretaker Gifts

Litter Picker on Golf Course.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

The Golfing Accident

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

In case he wore pants that weren't gaudy enough for golf, Len kept some cans of spray paint in his bag.

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

"What have you done?"

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

"Just give me a minute, Mr. Vice-President, and I'll try to explain the difference between contributions to the Nature Conservancy and greens fees."

"Judging by your tan I can see you play golf too."

"This is my favorite photo of our autumn leaves."

Mole living in golf hole.

Classic Car Auction: "I think I'm having an out-of -money experience."

Golfers! Do not walk on this fairway! Crawl on your belly like a lizard.

Who Designed This Course?

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

Use the word "pail" around the chickens. The word "bucket" scares them.

Golfer chased by tiger yells, 'Tiger! Woods! Tiger! Woods!'

"Just clean out the gutters, Tony, and point the chimney."

'Tell Dr. Swan his car is resting comfortably.'

"Otherwise it's just same ol', same ol'."

"Oh, I'm not technically a greenskeeper: I'm the bunker specialist..."

"Have you noticed dogs don't try to cover their business anymore, after they do it?"

Tiger out of Woods

Royalty playing golf

Vince learns an important golf lesson: Always tip the beverage cart girl.

'Will you please just lower the drawbridge and cool it with the knock-knock jokes?'

'I can't I've been clamped.'