Golf Greenskeeper Gifts

"Judging by your tan I can see you play golf too."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Yardless: Please help

The Golfing Accident

Pointing.

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"Must get a longer cable."

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'He lived and died for golf.'

Clearing the castle's moat.

Extra Long-jump

Beware of the Undergrowth.

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'Not here, Fred.'

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

Mask Autumn

'Ben, you don't know how nice it is to be hunting with you, especially after fishing with you.'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Turd golf...

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

'How long did you say it was 'til trout season?'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'Want to squeeze a lifetime of hunting into one day? Go with Ben!'

"Don't worry they will find us. We're still in the park..."

'Ben won a blue ribbon in a field trial. He hasn't been the same since.'

'I asked you to spread GRIT on our icy path...'

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'