Quirky Greenskeeper Gifts

Bert always found plenty of rubbish for his compost bin

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Pointing.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Egg Buggy

Save the termites.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

Industrial Beautification van

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

'Ben, you don't know how nice it is to be hunting with you, especially after fishing with you.'

'How long did you say it was 'til trout season?'

'Want to squeeze a lifetime of hunting into one day? Go with Ben!'

'Ben won a blue ribbon in a field trial. He hasn't been the same since.'

'An indecisive pointer.'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

Humpty the Game Warden

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Football fan